


The Author's message to Mr. Chu

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Message
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Aragorn the author replies to a funny review on his 'I won't sort her' by a certain Mr. Chu. Crack fic.
Kudos: 5





	The Author's message to Mr. Chu

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool or anything else you may recognize
> 
> So, after a weird review I got, I needed to do this.

"WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!" Wade asked, outraged. "I won't get to kill anyone?"

"Well, he said I shouldn't write a story where he gets killed-"

"And you listened?" Wade asked. "How much of a pussy are you?"

Wade brandished his sword but Aragorn raised his hands. "I will use Venn Diagrams to correlate you and Cable."

"Oh goddamn it!" Wade groaned as he turned around, walking off, cursing under his breath.

* * *

Later

Aragorn the author sat in front of a camera, looking at it.

"So how are you people?" He asked with a smile before doing over-exaggerated gestures with his hands. "Today we are going to talk about a very important thing- context! The definition on Google for context is- "The circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood." But the one more similar to the situation I will describe is- "The parts of something written or spoken that immediately precede and follow a word or passage and clarify its meaning.""

He then pulled up the latest review on 'I won't sort her' by a Mr. Chu. "So meet Mr. Chu, the reviewer whose review I will be addressing. But, I am going to add 'tiya' after the 'Chu.' So, I will call him Mr. Chutiya now."

Aragorn then read the review out loud- "First off as Iris is American not British, wouldn't she go to the American school of witchcraft and wizardry, which according to JK Rowling herself is named Ilvermorny, not to Hogwarts. Plus her not being sorted, wouldn't happen everyone who goes to Hogwarts gets sorted and no way on Earth is she like Voldemort. I like Iris and while she has flaws and is not a perfect person like some Iris fanatics think, she's not the devil incarnate like some fanatics who hate Iris seem to think. Plus nothing would stop Joe getting Iris a private tutor to teach her magic in the US far away from Britain's jurisdiction. This isn't a flame, just pointing out problems with this story. Do no go deleting it just because you don't like it and also do not go writing a story with me being killed, like you done with others on this site. Like someone else who didn't like this story. I don't mean in anyway to make you mad or upset. I just want to express my personal opinion on this story that takes hatred of a character I think is alright to a whole other level that I felt needed to be addressed. Have a good day. Stay safe from COVID-19."

Aragorn then looked to the front and said. "So he is being nice and already denying me my most brutal options. Well, I won't have him killed or anything, or even have him appear in this story. Now let's read the summary for this story, shall we?"

Aragorn then read the summary of the story- "11 year old witch Iris West has been invited to Hogwarts but the Sorting Hat has other plans. Pure crack fic. Not for Iris or WestAllen fans."

Aragorn then focused on 3 words. "Pure crack fic. Read it again- "Pure crack fic.""

He then looked to the front and shook his head. "These 3 words are like the third child at this point. No one cares about 'em, no one asks 'em, no one has any hope for 'em, they are just there."

He then put a cigarette in his mouth and turned the lighter on, smoking. "Don't worry, I've never even touched a cigarette in real life. But fictional me can do anything. But I don't promote and support smoking, unless you've a healing factor."

Blowing some smoke, Aragorn said. "See, "pure crack fic" means that what I am writing is not supposed to make any sense at all. It is senseless comedy, which elicits a laugh because of how much sense it makes, which is not at all."

Aragorn then said. "Let's read the review again- "First off as Iris is American not British, wouldn't she go to the American school of witchcraft and wizardry, which according to JK Rowling herself is named Ilvermorny, not to Hogwarts. Plus her not being sorted, wouldn't happen everyone who goes to Hogwarts gets sorted and no way on Earth is she like Voldemort. I like Iris and while she has flaws and is not a perfect person like some Iris fanatics think, she's not the devil incarnate like some fanatics who hate Iris seem to think. Plus nothing would stop Joe getting Iris a private tutor to teach her magic in the US far away from Britain's jurisdiction. This isn't a flame, just pointing out problems with this story. Do no go deleting it just because you don't like it and also do not go writing a story with me being killed, like you done with others on this site. Like someone else who didn't like this story. I don't mean in anyway to make you mad or upset. I just want to express my personal opinion on this story that takes hatred of a character I think is alright to a whole other level that I felt needed to be addressed. Have a good day. Stay safe from COVID-19."

"So, let me tell you that while this review isn't a flame, there is one kind of review which ticks me off as much as flames do, and this review falls in that category", Aragorn said. "And I'm talking about the reviews that criticize my story…..by taking it OUT OF CONTEXT!"

Aragorn then said. "This review is trying to make sense out of something that is literally supposed to be senseless. Mr. Chutiya, you missed the words 'pure crack fic' and you also missed the A/N at the bottom, didn't you? I literally said that I CARTOONISHLY EXAGGERATED Iris' flaws for the purposes of this story."

Aragorn then asked. "I mean, do you criticize Titanic because the ship sank instead of shattering the iceberg and going all the way through? Or do you criticize the Scary Movie series because of how much logic is used in them, which is no logic at all? No, right?! So why in the world are you treating my senseless comedy as a serious story to criticize. If I hadn't called it 'Pure crack fic', and if I hadn't put 'Humor/Parody' tags at the bottom, and if I hadn't admitted to cartoonishly exaggerating Iris' flaws, then your review would have a point, because then it would be true and actual criticism, but considering I did none of that, Mr. Chutiya, your review is literally pointless as fuck, proving that you live up to your name."

Aragorn then looked at the screen and said. "So my advise to you is- please people, understand the context of things. If you want to talk about something, always understand the context. Otherwise, what you are saying are just pointless words. And now, because of this review, I am going to have another fic where Iris get killed brutally."

"Can I kill her?" Wade called out.

"Nope!"

BANG!

Aragorn's cigarette shattered into pieces as he spit it out, jumping and falling down. "Oh boy! I better go!"

The screen went black.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed and see you all next time with some other update. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!


End file.
